Pension Plans

by Obviously Kirsty

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a lovely card lancing pack with lyric booklet. Artwork designed by Martha-Anne.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Pension Plans via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      £7 GBP or more 




released May 5, 2017

Thank you to Josh Clark at Get Real Audio for recording, mixing and mastering this album and special thanks to Harvey, the studio cat. Thank you also to the excellent musicians who selflessly gave their time and skills. Richard Parfitt (electric guitar), Emma Hooper & Jo Hampson-Gilbert (viola/violin), Tom Worley & Owain Coleman (piano), Matt Hurst (trumpet), Sam Blighe (drums) and Josh Clark (mandolin/bass/drums).

Huge thanks to the wonderful Martha-Anne; best friend, illustrator, and now cross stitch extraordinaire for lending her design skills and hours of cross stitching time.

Thanks to all friends, family and fans who have continually supported me along the way - you know who you are! And of course, thank you to my no. 1 roadie, Andy Price for always being there, and showing so much patience and appreciation for songs he has heard on endless repeat for the past couple of years.

Last but not least, thank YOU! x


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Track Name: Little Old Ladies
Art and fashion intertwined,
The colour of death is beige.
Charity shop and market patchwork,
Sue will never age.
She likes to stand out in a crowd without being over the top.
When people ask her for her picture,
She will always stop.
Flowing silver hair,
Looks good in magazines.
Professionally vein,
Daphne is a queen.
She’s natural and organic,
She’s proud of every line.
Takes delight in showing off,
It will always be her time.

These are no little old ladies fading away.
They’re borderlining racey, they’re working the run way.

Mini skirts and pensions,
Doc Martens for five pounds.
Campaigns for older models,
Pearl’s attitude astounds.
Turban on her head,
Embellished mismatched jewels.
Red lips and mascara, she has no fashion rules.
Jean applied for retail jobs, she got one in a week.
Not ready to retire, now she works in a boutique.
She lights a candle at Bath Abbey and thinks of the good parts.
She enjoys her widowed life but he’ll be there in her heart.

When I am old,
I wanna be like them, I wanna be like them.
When I am old,
I shall wear purple with a red hat that doesn’t go and doesn’t suit me.
Track Name: Bears
She sat down at the cinema,
She ignored all the stares and laughs,
And made sure that her friends had a good view.
One by one, she laid them out,
Told them what the film’s about.
They looked at her through threads and button eyes.

I will never feel alone when I look into the faces I have sewn.
I will never feel afraid, the bears will keep me safe ‘til my last day.

People say she lost a baby,
Others say that she’s just crazy,
As she walks her bears around the town.
Look at all the places I have been,
Look at all the things that I have seen,
And always with my favourite company.

Children shout, they call her names;
“You stupid cow, act your age!”
Children shout, they call her names,
But she doesn’t hear them.
Track Name: The Ocean
While he sleeps, she lays awake.
There’s a fear that she can’t shake.
It’s gotten worse as she’s got older, it’s a feeling pressing on her shoulders.
She got up and seized the day -
Today she’s gonna face the waters that surround her corner.
She was hoping it would be much warmer, but still she went...

Swimming in the ocean,
Causing a commotion in the seaside town,
People gather ‘round to see her
Wading with no clothes on, singing sailors’ work songs
As she braves the waves at the ripe old age of ninety.

He went and dipped his toes,
And he shivered to the bone.
Even though his feet were freezing, he figured that he must be dreaming.
She was scared of jellyfish, all the monsters, and the abyss.
She let go of her hesitations,
And she felt a flood of liberation when she went...

She felt such fear since she lost her brother.
A stormy night left her on her own.
Fifty years it took to recover.
Now she’s breathing in, and she feels so free when she’s...
Track Name: The Songwriter
In last week’s paper, he saw a request.
They were looking for songs, said they’d choose the best.
He wasn’t a writer, and he wasn’t a singer.
He never expected to be the winner,
But he knew his song kept his wife alive,
So he sent it in, not knowing the prize.
A producer gave him a call one day.
He said “I’ll record your song, what do you say?”
“Why would you do that for me, what is your fee?”
“Oh, you misunderstand me, sir, I’ll do all this for free.”

I love you my darling, I love you my dear.
I love you my soldier and flight engineer.
You are the sweetest, for rich or for poor.
For better or worse, it’s you I adore.

She ran out of time to write a song back,
But if she did, it would go something like that.
He missed her so very much,
He missed her smile and her gentle touch.
A voice came to his home to sing,
And he knew his wife was listening.

I love you my darling, I love you my dear.
I love you my war nurse and art pioneer.
You are the sweetest, for rich or for poor.
For better or worse, it’s you I adore.

He knew this was how his song should be.
It sounded like her musically.
And so, he replayed her melody,
It helped him sleep more easily.
Track Name: Dolls
You don’t boil the kettle for me, but your dolls have perfect tea.
Tiny little dresses sewn by hand, miniature berets on the hat stand.
The care and love of one hundred years.
The doll house is all that she holds dear.
Her mind is like lost property, the connections she cannot see.
She knows all the dolls by name, but the nurses they all look the same.
Paper snowflakes fall as they may,
She doesn’t know that it’s Christmas day.

The doll house is what she calls home, she won’t answer the door or the telephone.
And if you ask her out to dine, you’ll be waiting for a very long time.

Thimble on a thumb but memory gone.
She’s forgotten the name of her only son.
The trees are quite scary when the grass is green.
She needs to go inside and give the house a good clean.
Nice to see you my son again.
Take care and by the way, my name is Ben.

The doll house is what she calls home, she won’t answer the door or the telephone.
And if you ask her out to dine, you’ll be waiting for a very long time.
The doll house is what she calls home, she won’t answer the door or the telephone.
She’ll forget him and she’ll forget you and eventually, she’ll forget me too.
Track Name: Ada
I had a call today, they said that Ada had gone.
No one had seen her all night long,
We started searching for her straight away.
All the clouds seemed so close to our heads.
We should have spent a lot more time at her bed.
We were fearing the worst but then we had a clue,
She had taken out her fancy shoes.

We found her dancing to her favourite number,
She was looking quite a few years younger.
With a smile on her face that had never been seen
By anyone but her lover.

A hospital is not a home, she wanted to go out on her own.
They never listen when she says she’s strong enough,
They’re always making such an awful fuss.
“Oh, it’s dangerous,
You don’t want to break your fragile bones,
Maybe you should get some sleep,”
Well she’s been resting now for seven weeks

We’re gonna take her out every week,
We’re gonna listen when she tries to speak,
She’s so old in her chair but she’s so young on her feet
She needs a chance to get up out of her seat,
Oh it’s dangerous,
What if we never knew?
What if we left her in that place, would she be keeping up that pace?
Oh it’s dangerous.
Track Name: Love Doesn't Last Forever
Fifty years of marriage, now in therapy.
Is this really how it has to be?
You gave me hope but now your golden years
Have turned that hope into fear.
Who said...

Love doesn’t last forever,
I say you should make a bit more effort.
I think you could make it better
Love can last forever.

I don’t understand, I’m much too young,
But tell me when did you run out of fun?
You know, I’d like the love I thought you had,
So please just tell me that it’s not so bad.
Who said...

Does he not fit in to your pension plan?
Has he shrunk too much to be your man?
Do you hate the way that she chews her food?
Are you tired of his swinging moods?

I know they don’t feel like they used to do.
I hope that never fades for me and you.
Now they’re sleeping back in the same bed,
I feel more positive of what’s ahead.
Who said...
Track Name: Oh George
She looks at a photograph and doesn’t know her face.
What used to be has faded and she feels so out of place.
Oh, Joy. Oh, Joy.
He told her what she couldn’t do, she never even tried,
She threw away her ballet shoes, she never felt alive,
Oh, Joy. Oh, Joy.

Age is just the number of the years you’ve lived your life.
You might feel much younger as a widow than a wife.
Oh, Joy. Oh, Joy.

He loved her very dearly but grew jealous of her act.
Her partner used to hold her hand, and he’d have none of that.
Oh, George. Oh, George.
And every time she did the splits, he’d have a heart attack,
He worried for her frail hips and feared she’d break her back.
Oh, George. Oh, George.

He was so appropriate, he never let her dance,
He sat down on his chair all day and never took a chance.
Oh George, Oh, George.
If he could see her on the floor now, splits and twists and twirls,
He would say “Oh. please no more, you’re not a little girl no more, no more.”
Track Name: Rosa
She turned heads cycling through university
She sat down and rummaged for her flask of tea.
I will not forget the words she said to me.
“The secret to staying young is to have a dream.”

She told me the secret to staying young,
You must have a dream.
When you lose your dream, you wake up old,
Whatever age you seem.

She told me all her life she dreamed of being here,
Later that night, we went out and she drank cheap beer.
She danced on the table and received a cheer.
“Life’s too short, you have to live a lot, my dear.”

All she ever wanted was to graduate,
But she could never afford the tuition rate.
She has top attendance and she’s never late.
“The things I’ve learnt and friends I’ve made were worth the wait”

When she finally wore her academic robes,
That was the last day that she would ever know.
She got an award for her first class degree.
Rosa died happily at eighty three.

Rosa, please rest in peace,
You finished your degree.
Thank you for teaching me,
What life is meant to be.
Track Name: Who Are We?
He once thought the Gods were older than the Earth.
They were the reason for unlikely birth.
At twelve years old, as bright as a star,
He started to question who we are.

Who are we? Who are we?

He studied in science, and reset his mind.
He stayed up late, just making sense of the research that he found.

Who are we? Who are we?

From boy to old man, he gave his whole life,
To finding intelligence in an undiscovered land.
With a telescope and a lot of hope, he listened to the skies,
To no avail, he got nothing back, but he won’t give up his search for life..

Of which he was running out.
He’s disappointed,
But he’s not surprised.
He knows they’re out there.
The odds are fair.
But who are they and who are we? Were we never meant to be?

Who are we? Who are we?

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